To Do Nothing....

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Edmund Burke  

                My son, Jared called me this morning and I realized that the conversation was going to be tenuous when one of the first things he said to me was , “ Mom, I sure hope bad things really only come in threes but yesterday was a bad day.  As I listened, he recounted the tragedies that had occurred in the last twenty-four hour period.   He had problems at school, he got rear ended, and after the horrible day his fiance took him to dinner and they returned an hour and fifteen minutes later, they had been burglarized.  They lost a new big screen television, all of his schoolbooks, his backup drives, his jewelry, and his laptop.  His roommates lost electronics and such as well.  He was distraught knowing that this is the week before finals.  I think genuinely the loss while catastrophic in nature to a young man his age was secondary to the fact that he felt really angry that living next door to the fire station on a street full of family homes yet no one noticed. He said,” seriously,  Mom, how can someone carry out a fifty five inch television set and not one person saw one thing?”

                I sighed wishing desperately I had a positive answer for him.  I am well acquainted with the bystander effect.  I remember vividly reading the case of Kitty Genovese in abnormal psychology.  It was the most common case sited.   She was stabbed to death in borough of Queens in New York City in March of 1968 by a serial rapist.  It was reported by the papers at the time of the attack that over the case of an hour in three separate attacks and places over thirty-eight people witnessed the attack and did absolutely nothing.  They were common, law abiding, and hard working citizens.  They did nothing, thinking that surely someone else did. The high cost of do nothing was a young woman’s life.

                The term bystander effect refers to the phenomenon in which the greater the numbers of people present, the less likely people are to help a person in distress. It is difficult for me to understand the concept of doing nothing. I think unfortunately, it is for my son as well.   From a moral standpoint only, I see it as allowing evil to conquer over good.  We all need a helping hand from time to time. None of us is exempt.  We break down in odd places, have a flat tire, or run off the road.  We hope for cell service but if you have none then you have to hope there is a kind soul that will offer aid.  When did helping your neighbor become so threatening to our society?

                My neighbor and I had a falling out about a year ago.  She and I have different version at what really lies at the heart of the discussion however, I do NOT go out of my way to be rude or unkind.  If I see her, I waved or spoke, even when at its worst her replies were verbally diminishing.  The other night, we witnessed a fight in our back yards born from neighbors on both sides meeting in the middle to carry out a fight.  The neighborhood kids and in truth part of the adult were surrounding them chanting fight. She knocked on my door with fear in face.  At this point, calling the police was already in the works.  She was begging me,” please, call they have weapons.”   Now I could have done nothing about either situation because in truth, that was the easiest of choices was to remain uninvolved.  I could have out of pure contempt of my neighbor, not answered my door and refused to call.  I could have relished in the laughter that she was so scared.  I could have put my shade down and continued watching the voice like it did not exist. Or yesterday when the picking my teenager up from school, I could have not called the owner of a local business to inform him a teenage girl was parading around his parking lot in her bra and panties  because she was “hot” (physically) or that her cohorts in crime were running out into a busy street and stopping traffic.  

                The truth is that in choosing to do nothing I would have allowed bad situations to become even more potentially dangerous for everyone involved. Therefore, I ACTED. Te results, my neighbor and I worked out an amicable agreement to get along not to be great friend but it was a start.  It was a start that would never have occurred had it not been our mutual desire to act.  The parent of the kid next door did not appreciate my intervention but understood I did so out of a need to keep the neighborhood safe for all of us to live in. the business owner was very appreciative because he had numerous complaints by tenants in the rest of the building and his customers.  Being busy with work, he was not aware who was responsible and it gave him a time and identification to stop the problem.

                I have always taught my children to stand up for the injustices of the world.  Not to allow peer pressure ever dictate their values and their behaviors.  This week those lessons have been put to the test.  As a parent, I felt I had no other options but live what I preach.  While in truth this was a weird week here in our little town and especially in our part of it, it was a great opportunity to grow. I think we will value what we have learned.

                First, my youngest son learned that violence begets more violence and that there is an appropriate time and place for everything.  He also learned that all actions have a reaction and negative actions have and even more negative reaction.  The most important lesson sadly he said he learned was that not all people will behave toward you in the same way you behave toward them. I did my best to instill that even though they may not act that way toward you it does not give you the right to ask with the same disregard.

                Now, I truly cannot any of the neighbors saw last night but I find it hard to believe that you would not notice strangers parked in the driveway carrying out a fifty-five inch plasma flat screen television and armfuls of schoolbooks and computers.  Maybe they are all just relieved it did not happen to them. By refusing to come forward to get involved, you virtually increase the possibility that it will be you.  Evil only grows where it is allowed.  If you choose to do nothing, the questions you should ask yourself are how will that effect me when I need help and what does it say about me as a person?  It  is just takes twenty seconds of insane courage to do the right thing and you will gain the most wondrous of things. Speak up, use your voice, be the person you were meant to be. Everyone wants to see your light.