A Loss of Great Proportions

A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen.

~Edward de Bono

    I was assaulted with a situation today for which I had few words and little comfort to offer. It was NOT because I did not understand or even empathize but merely because there was no way for me to make the past unhappen. The present tragedy could not be changed or altered.  It left in many of a void. On one hand, we grieve the loss and on the other, we breathe a sigh of relief that we know the suffering caused in the relationship with this person has finally come to a stop. Our faith teaches us forgiveness but our minds wander back to the memories. Yet what do you do when nothing remains to feel good about? 
     It is not that we rejoice they are gone, but rather we feel nothing because the feeling is long since died. We are left to process our guilt for not feeling more. Still others will hold on so tightly to every shred of good they can bring to mind and immortalize it until the pain is hidden behind this delusion of goodness. The villain becomes the saint. It is a huge conundrum indeed.
     After careful thought, I have only this to offer, I would rather live in the now and I will spend my thoughts in forgiveness and choose not to bury myself in untruth. I am saddened at the death but I cannot feel guilty about what was killed long before it was laid to rest. What others do, say, or think is outside the realm of my control. All the wishes, and maybe’s in the world cannot change what is Past. I mourned the loss when that time was upon me. Death of person or a relationship cannot unhappen. To hide my head in the sand and pretend that it is something, which it is not, is unhealthy for me mentally and emotionally. Now, it is time to say goodbye. That is all that is left.