Monday, September 9, 2013

Teenlandia

             
  I was struggling with a beginning today so I posted on my Facebook for advice.  My daughter says, “Once upon a time  ...” My friend [posted “in a land far, far away”.  Another posted, “In the beginning”. So here it goes. 
Once upon a time in a land far, far away there was a country called Teenlandia. In the beginning, parents were sane and genuinely idealistic, and then came the teenagers.  Parents were deep in contemplation about why they ever thought it was a good idea to have children and the teens who knew everything were wondering how they were ever born to such stupid parents. There was an abundance of gray hair and temporary baldness (from pulling all their hair all out).  The carpets were worn from the constant pacing back and forth.  Parents were hoarse from the screaming for the kids to turn the music down and their heads were pounding with the thump of the subwoofers.  There were constant bills for car accidents and repairs, the need for hearing aids, and overwhelming necessity for better anti anxiety medications.  The major attractions were that every household contained an ATM machine that was supposedly never out of money, there was never any homework until the very day it was due at school, and every problem was a major drama no matter how big or small.  The parents spoke English and the kids spoke text or vulgarities.  Cell phone and laptops ran amuck with crazy pictures, stupid stunts, social medias, and rampant meanness called “joking”. At the end of the day, parents lay their heads on their pillows and whispered these words, “Thank you, I survived one more day.”
                Now many of you know me are laughing hysterically at my sarcasm and the rest of you are probably wondering if I live next door to you. I want to say I am the survivor of three teenagers soon to be four.  While they all know, I love them dearly, there are certainly days along the way that I have to confess I wanted either desperately to have them run away or to be able to go myself.   Now those of you who still have young kids are saying to yourselves, it is not that bad.  You have seen the polite, public families of kids that make it all look like it is a walk in the park.  You think that I am only talking about those “bad kids” with which your children are not allowed to associate.  Well, I have some bad news.  You are WRONG, completely, totally, and utterly wrong.  Yes you are!!!  I am talking about teenagers, most every teenager.  If you have not had the pleasure then I have to say your application for sainthood is on the very bottom of the pile at this point, behind all of us who have.
                I have often mused when other parents said to me, “You have done such an awesome job.  He or she is such a polite, well behaved child.”  I feel like I was a deer in the headlights. I lived with them I know who they are. I always wanted some of whatever that drug or alcohol was that allowed them to hallucinate that my child was obedient.  There were times that I am not sure that I like them very much at all.  No one wanted to study but they certainly did not like being grounded for bad grades.  They would spend hours cleaning their cars but ask them to pick up their rooms, forget it.   They all had their moments when they were unfriendly, okay downright grumpy and unsocial.   My friend Barb and I have often teased about the fact that the secret to our having successfully survived our teens was a fully stocked liquor cabinet (for us not them).
                The irony of all of this is that, I thought other people children (most of the time) were much better than my own.  I would make dinner and they would all gather around.  They would offer to help cook or cleanup.  They were so appreciative that I cooked.  Today, I realize the real irony is that is a classic case of the grass is always greener on the other side of the septic tank.  It is always easier to like someone else’s children or some other situation that we are not directly involved with on a regular basis.  We do not see their messy room or their grade cards or deal with their issues.  We merely get the momentary glimpses of them as they hang about our kids. If we lived with them then I would say they probably see in them something to make us equally as crazy. It is like going to work you may not be crazy about your boss but you know you have a limited amount of time to be with him so you put on your kind face and you pretend. As parents, we love that.  It makes feel rock solid about our own kids and their decision making skills.   Eventually though the honeymoon ends, and we are all facing the awkward music saying how did that happen.
                The keys to survival are different with different families.  I tend to do things a little outside the box so some of my methods were well off the beaten path. All right, they were really quirky but they worked for the most part. Being a single parent was hard work and as a stay at home parent, it was often hard to balance personal time with my family.   So consequentially, I had to find some different thought patterns. Maybe some of them will help you and some of them will make you realize I am my own special breed of weird.
                 
1.        Respect and trust are always two-way streets.  If you are not willing to give them freely, chances are you will not be getting them either.  The whole you have to earn it is really baloney for I do not trust you but I want you to jump through ten thousand hoops and I will t means they need your help to get up consider it.   Do you want to be treated like that? If they have never given you a reason to mistrust them or to question their honor, then why treat them as if they are not trustworthy?  Yes, they will make bad choices and sometimes they need your help to get up this is true even as adults.  It does not mean do not watch and do not discipline.
2.       If you break my trust or abuse my respect, there are real life consequences.  I am not a huge fan of grounding teenagers. I think that is often more punishment for the parent.  So let me give you some of my favorite examples.  The teen stays out and does not do his chores.   The reality of that is it still needs done.  So after their late night out, why not just give them an early morning with not only the original chore but also some extra work?  Dishes not loaded in the dishwasher in my house equals doing dishes by hand.  They did not wash their clothes or take their laundry out, throw in the sheets and the towels. They will not learn if you do the chore for them. 
3.       Choose your battles and y our compromises wisely.  As a single parent, it quickly became evident that I could not fight with two teenage boys all the time about everything and still have time for my two other kids. Therefore, I had to set some boundaries.  Disagreements that did not come to blows or draw blood were better solved between them without my intervention.  It taught them the value of working through life’s complications for later in their lives.  If I intervened, the general rule is that in the end neither party was going to be happy.  I am the parent and they need guidance but I found they resented dictatorship.
4.       Always tell them the real truth.  Truth is often somewhere in the middle and seldom black and white.  Be fair but be honest and just.  There is a way to talk to children on a level they can understand.  We ask them to be honest with us but when we imply they are not worthy of the same by our own actions then in truth we have effectually taught them that lying is sometimes acceptable.  A wise friend once said to me there is always a way to tell people the truth in a way they can understand it.  This is especially true of talking with children.  How can they trust you if they catch you lying to them? You can only know true enjoy when understand pain.
5.       Allow them the right to speak their mind and make some of the own decisions as long as it is respectful.  Remember your job is to prepare them to leave home and be happy, healthy productive adults.  If you allow them to talk things out to, make their own choices, and expect for them to validate their reasoning then you have given them the necessary tools to do just that.  It does not mean you have to agree or allow it but letting them talk it out shows that you respect them.  Sheltering tour teens leaves them ill prepared for a world they must eventually join.  If you teach them the value of their mind and their choices, you also feed their self-esteem. That is an invaluable tool in life.  You cannot do a better thing for them than to allow them the right to fall down. It is a hard I know but so worth the risk. Just try to withhold the “I told you so as often as possible.”
6.       Allow them their own space. Now, this idea might be a difficult pill for most of you to swallow so here goes nothing.  I like my space a certain way.  I do not usually make my bed unless I am having company. I keep my laptop and books on the opposite side because I often write, read, or do different things well into the middle of the night.  My middle son said to me one time, “If I have to pick up my toys from where you do not like them then you pick up your toys too.”  At first, I was a bit taken but I did realize there was some validity in his thought. So the rule became that all mutual living space in the house had to be clean and picked up, IE the living room, the kitchen, the dining area, and all bathrooms.  Their space IE their room and closets were their domain unless company was coming over. No food or drink could be left in the room.  I did not pick up the clothes or wash them if they were not picked up by them.   I often had to close the door to avoid being angry but it gave them a choice. Eventually, the cleaning began.  However, the fighting stopped immediately.
7.       Do NOT be the ATM.  Currently, kids have so many things, cell phone, tablets, game systems, mp3 players’ computers cars credit cards nice clothes…  Gone are the days that you can find entertainment outside playing ball and riding bikes all over the neighborhood.  It seems to be an endless list of things they wants that they feel are needs. It is easy to be caught up in the giving.  The problem is that it soon becomes unappreciated and overly expected.  If they get once and they take care of it that is awesome.  If not, let them work off the repairing or replacing fee.  After all, we have to work to do it.  That is the way life goes.  The lesson is in teaching them to be productive and respectful.
8.       The open door policy.  Now this sounds simple but I issue a warning at this point.  When you tell teenagers, they can tell you anything, be prepared because you might just get what you asked for.  The true key is to appear unshocked and not to get angry.  Listen first and then try to talk it out.  Communication is not easy and it takes a great deal more listening. 
9.       When you are wrong as a parent or have made mistakes, you should admit them openly.  The truth is that we are only human.  Sometimes we rush to judgment or make assumptions that turn out to be false.  Showing our teens that we are willing to accept that we have erred sets the example for them.  In turn, they will feel easier about coming to you when they are in trouble. 
10.   The last one is the one of the biggest.  Lead by example.  If you are narrow minded and judgmental, you can expect that those same traits will be reflected in your teen.  Be careful what traits you really want to pass on because they will surely come back to bite you in the butt if you are not.  It also makes the difference in how they will treat others in their lifetimes.  Plant the seeds of optimism, joy, and charity.  You will see those seeds grow. You will reap the rewards of them.


The bonds you build with you teens are not an accident.  They take work and patience.  Some days will be harder than other days.  I am not a perfect parent.  I work hard to do the best job I can.  I think that is the best any one can ask of you.  Every day is a new challenge.  Remember that loving them is easy.  It is the liking them as people that truly takes lots of work.  If you do not like them, then reflect on the cause and try to help them change to be more positive.  Just accept that at times, the change starts in you.

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