Comfort Foods

              

      As some of you will know already, we had a huge reversal of fortune in our city.  Ryan Ferguson who had been in prison for just about a decade was released. In the press conference, a reported asked him what the first meal he planned to have is.  His reply was Dairy Queen.  The crowd laughed.  Later on Facebook, he was shown having a beer and eating steak.  I had to laugh wondering if he got his Dairy queen or not.  However, it did start me thinking about the subject of comfort food.   The things we all desire that make us feel better.  It brought to mind something my Grandma Ruth used to tell, “There is a food for everything. When are coming and when they are leaving to go home are different foods. There are happy foods and comfort foods.”  I dare say she was wise woman though as a teenager, I have to say that it all seemed a bit odd to me now, I think she might just be on to something pretty profound.

                As I usually do before writing, I do some background work and I try to piece together all the aspects of the subject I want to discuss so I researched comfort food.  One expert said that comfort foods comfort us. Well, yeah, DAH!  Another said it was detrimental to our emotional health to feed our feelings instead of expressing them and working through them.  Now I can say this is a very logical and well thought out argument that I mostly agree with.  One should always identify and feel their feelings or they begin to possess your mind and cause harm. I also agree with the fact that food is not a healthy crutch and can actually cause you to develop harmful addictions. The apart I have issue with is that word ALWAYS.  I do not believe always or never exists in any given situation. I feel that as long as you recognize the issue, you do not depend on food to cure the situation, and you do the feelings an occasional indulgence is probably not going to do irreversible harm.  Another expert said that actually giving into your whims about food is self indulgent and immature, which created means we created our own inability to cope with stress. Well, POPPYCOCK!  Seriously, we have our own ways of dealing with things.  We have mechanisms by which we clear the chaos and find the resolution of in our minds. Food, a drink, a run, cooking, cleaning just to name a few that come to mind.  Most rational adults realize that eventually, you have to talk it out; I do not think a chocolate bar is going to kill your emotional development.

                So I bypassed the experts and went to my friends for their thoughts.  I asked my best friend Barb specifically about her thoughts on comfort food.  Her reply, I admit, startled me a tiny bit, because I thought I knew the answer but I did not really.  Macaroni and cheese, not the Kraft kind mind, but good old-fashioned homemade macaroni and cheese is what makes her heart happy again.  My friend Larry, said meatloaf was his.  Still another, Chris, told me anything home made. Now my kids are blessed in that respect because I have been cooking for them from scratch since they were old enough to eat table food. 

                Now, for me, I have different comfort foods for different for different reasons.  When I am stressed and feeling overwhelmed there is nothing more “comforting” to me than kettle potato chips and the dark caramel liquid of the gods, know otherwise as Pepsi.  When I am sad there is nothing more “comforting” than fresh home cut fries and some sweet cake or bread usually Coca cola cake or pumpkin muffins.  It is the balance of sweet and salty, soft and crunchy that tends to make me feel better.  While discussing this subject though, she admitted that she too had that issue.  Guacamole, Pico de Gallo and margaritas were her stress comfort now that was the answer I was expecting the first time. 

                The truth is a very simple we all have different foods that brings comfort in different ways and at different times.  For some like my friend Barb, the thrill of homemade macaroni and cheese like her Mother made her growing up brings that sense of security and nostalgia that calms the worst of days.  It is a feeling of calm that came when our parents made things right, a time when life did not seem so stressful and precarious.  I would agree that anything cooked at home creates a sense of peace and caring in us especially in this day and age of processed and fast foods.  In truth, most of us, work so hard that slowing down seems to be something we do only on holidays or vacations sometimes weekends.  We raise our children on multiple afterschool activities and sports participation that we the question I have for you though is simple. What about the notion that having dinner together with your family, cooking together, and shutting out the world to provide the ultimate sense of peace and understanding? Hey grew up on homemade Halloween costumes that spent hours sewing and home cooking.  It was a treat to go out to dinner, and grabbing pizza was a huge deal, but today it is common place.

                I was talking to my oldest son today, who is in the Military and stationed in California.  We were talking about his plans for Thanksgiving.  I asked what his plans were this year knowing that he does not have leave to come home and he said he was unsure but he thought he would be brave and make wild rice dressing. It is an old family recipe that my Grandmother past down.  It is not complicated but a bit time consuming.   It is a matter grinding vegetables to a paste and cooking wild rice then letting it all soak overnight in cream before it can be baked.  In our family, it is a staple of the day that cannot be missed. The simple truth though is that more than it being a favorite food, it reminds him of family of tradition.  As we talked I said what are your favorite memories of growing up and he said Friday night dinners, and movie in the basement on the big screen.  Home is where the food came from and where I spent my time and love feeding them.  I love that he will always have that thought and I hope he will be a wise enough man to give that to his children when has them.  Dinner with your family is an essential to building strong family bonds.  It is not easy in our busy world but it is well worth the effort.

                 I think the other notion I have formulated about comfort foods is something very simple also.  Stress, anger, and sadness are often brought about in situations that are beyond our own control.  Our jobs, our coworkers, our troubles, our children, just simply life in general are full of complications.  While we cannot control all that happens to us or that we forced to deal with, we can control what we eat. We can take some measure of calm from something we can decide upon.  It is a huge sense of relief to sit before that warm heaping plate of golden macaroni and cheese.  It is a choice I can make.  It can go to my kitchen and by design, no matter how bad the rest of the day is, I can choose to cook that dish.  It is all about me.  My craving, my effort, and my decision, it is all about me and I control it. 

                So here are my final thoughts, it does not matter what food you choose. Its importance is about giving you a sense of control and security.  It can help you relive fond family memories and tradition which turns the sadness and angst into something less chaotic and upsetting.  It provides you with a sense that while the rest of the world is spinning out of control, you have choices that you can make.  Comfort is about feeling better.  So whether it is something cooked at home in your kitchen or you favorite candy bar, take a moment and enjoy that sense of ease and peace that comfort provides.  Life will still be there, your inbox will still have things to do, and the issue will still need solving.  However, you will be in a much easier place to deal with it and your mind much clearer.  Please, remember that food is not the cure all and at some point we do have to deal with our emotional and life related problems.  However, at times we all derive some comfort from our favorite foods.  Sometimes comfort is a huge step into getting through to the other end.