I am
not the garage sale kind of person really usually I have one when it is time
for me to sale my old dishes so I can justify buying new ones. My best friend Barb though needs to downsize
and clean out closets in preparation for downsizing from her house to a smaller
place so I volunteered to help her out. We
set the date when Barb was out of town at her son’s football game because we
were needed to critter sit anyway. We were going to be staying there so it
killed two birds with one stone. It gave her a good three weeks of time to
gather and rummage through the closets and storage boxes. It was an out of town
game for the Missouri Tigers so we would not be competing with football
tailgating. While the weather was predicted to be a bit cool and damp and it
was. It was a winning plan.
Since, in truth, I do not have a
lot of experience with the sale circuit I am often as amused by the people that
come in, as I am bewildered. Certainly,
Saturday, was no exception to this rule. One of the things that are so fun is the
stories that you hear from patrons. My daughter and I are both very social so I
often find people want to chat I learn a lot about people in general through
these innocents conversations. I find
that they tend to speak more truth in casual conversation. I like when people feel relaxed enough to be
themselves. It is a good time to learn.
The first lesson was even before
it started. A seemingly unimportant thought spoken by barb as she was cleaning
out stuff, “I am cleaning out the clutter with little regard to where I got it
or who gave it to me.” I said replied, “That
is great.” At the time, I meant it but I
really did not fully understand its value until later when we were setting up
for the sale. We often are bogged down by our past baggage. Both emotionally and physically, presents
that our great aunt gave us that we had no use for and never wanted to begin
with but we do not part with them out of respect. We harbor hurt, pain and we use it against
the next person that comes into our lives even though they are not the same
person. Actually, when you think about
it from a Barb’s point of view, there is a huge lesson. By clearing out the closets, we are able to
let go of things that keep us tied to uncomfortable and painful times in our
lives. While we know that Aunt Sally
meant well, she really created a sense of guilt, that weigh lays from fully experiencing
great joy. So be respectful and say
thanks but keep in mind that not liking your situation or someone else’s gift
does not make you a bad person it just means that the person giving it did
their best to make you smile but we are all human and make mistakes. It does not mean that her next gift will not
be more wonderful or that Aunt Polly’s gift is going to have the same lack
luster effect. The lesson is simple
being true to yourself sometimes means we unintentionally hurt others. Let it go. Punishing yourself or another for
it keeps your life cluttered. Move on,
keeping in mind, that you can only find the joy if you clean put the closets to make room for
something new and wonderful.
I
started the morning with the driver. Now
it is not unusual for people to come early.
If you say seven o’clock then people are gathering at fifteen minutes
early or so. They want to be the first
to get a “good deal”. This always
fascinates me because obviously you are going to buy an item at a small fraction
of the cost you would normally pay in a store because it s used. Is that not by definition a deal? Anyway,
getting back to the driver, at half past we were letting the dog out and we
noticed a van driving by very slowly. A
few minutes later letting her back in the van was driving by the opposite
direction like pacing with in a car. Now we determined it was probably a
potential customer so we opted not to be alarmed but we mused as we watched
from the window and the garage that she drove back and forth at least two dozen
times. Her complete impatience was notable and made us (my daughter and I) even
more determined to wait until the last moment to open. Finally, at five minutes
until seven, we opened the door. In thirty
seconds, she was in the driveway. She came with a purpose. In the time talking,
she knew what she wanted and she had been determined to be the first there so
she could obtain them, the Longaberger baskets.
In her eyes, they were prize of all prizes. Her actions and her
determination were in truth a bit inspiring. She set a goal and she determined
the best course of action to achieve it though her path was blocked with a bit
of resistance on our part she was not thwarted from her plan. It was very
impressive. Every day, our plans go awry
and we forced by circumstance to find new paths or to wait but often we
allow the circumstances of disruption to circumvent our success. Instead, we divert to a new path and new goal
and just pretend the other one does not matter anymore. The lesson to be
learned is that if it was an important goal then waiting for it and working
toward are important enough to deserve concentration. It may not be easy but it is worthwhile.
The
second was the hoarder. Now my daughter
and I felt more than a bit guilty about selling her stuff when she relayed to
us her story. She said she buys trinkets
and decorations that she takes home and puts into one room. She says she loves them all but in the end
her son will move them to the basement and sometime thorough out the year they
are forced to have a garage sale of their own to resale all the “treasures” she
bought at other sales. Now, we laughed
hysterically and in truth, it is still humorous now but it is ten kinds of
wrong. How do you have an intervention
with someone you do not know about an addiction I am not sure how to
describe? What do you do? I think we chose to see the humor because the
alternative was a bit scary. In life, we
find those people that codependent on drugs, alcohol, shopping and gambling to name
a few. While there is no easy
understanding of addiction, as we all know there is some underlying
gratification and escape they get in their consumption. They escape some sadness by filling it with
some habit that if even that makes them feel better for a little while. Unfortunately, we all know that things cannot
make us happy. We have to find happiness
within ourselves. I was barraged with
mixed emotions; guilt was one of the biggest.
Enabling an addiction is horrible but easy to do. We all think we are not part of the problem
but in truth if you allow it to happen by participating then you are as much of
a problem as the addiction itself. You
have to be strong and stand up. Fighting for the correct “RIGHT” thing is not usually the easy way out but it does tend
to be the most rewarding.
We
have all heard the saying that one man’s junk is another man’s treasure. My friend put a pair of small diamond earrings
on the table for sale. She told me secretly that they were a must sale
item. They were the first present her ex
husband had ever given her and in attempt to divest herself of past she felt it
was time they were gone. I entrusted my daughter with the information and we
had decided regardless if they sold here or we had to take them to a pawnshop
we make sure they received a new home.
About mid morning, a middle age man came in and he picked them up and
smiled hugely. He asked if they were real
gold and real stones to which I replied with a definite yes. He related to me that is daughter had just turned
thirteen and as a marking of her becoming teenager they had allowed her to have
her ears pierced. She however, had an
allergy to certain metals so new earrings were very expensive. He bought them and he left with a deep smile.
His parting words were so wonderful. “Thank you because today I get to be my
daughter’s hero.” We, as parents, all
like those moments when we see the happiness that something we have done for
them is so appreciated. It has is hard currently
when it seems that so many children have so much to find those aha moments with
them. It reminded me though sometimes
the greatest gifts are not about how much they cost but how much effort you put
into finding the perfect gift for them. It
is about time and efforts looking until you find that one thing that speaks
volumes to you even if it is from the garage sale.
The
next was the con man. There was a man
that was looking at the table of music discs.
They were listed for a dollar apiece. Nowadays many people have gone to
mp3 players so the sale of discs has declined. I mean who wants a whole disc
where you might not like all the songs when you can just download the music you
really do want. However, most of it was
popular artists both country and rock as well as some classical so the thought
was that cheap enough they would all go.
This man comes in and from the very beginning; I knew that it was going
to be an exercise in frustration for me.
If it was marked for a quarter then he wanted to pay five cents. Now I have a general rule Keep it simple
stupid. I do not want to deal with the nickel
and dime and penny stuff. If it is only worth
a nickel, then why sell it period just give it away. So we butted heads continually I will give
you a dime. It is a quarter. The cds were a dollar and he looks through them
saying aloud to himself, I could resale these so I will give you a quarter for
each one. Now I was a bit tempted, at
first just to make some money but the thought he was going to resale them to
make more money frustrated me. Therefore,
I made the executive decision to resale them myself. He replied by saying to me I was a stupid
white woman. REALLY? First, what does my
race have to do with anything? Secondly,
what does my gender either? Seriously, I
really do not like to be taken advantage of nor do I want to take advantage of
anyone else. It is a simple life rule. Everyday there is that con man that is willing
to let you feel bad about yourself, willing to kick you when you are down, or
willing to help himself to what is yours. It is up to you to fight the good
fight and to recognize trouble when it walks in. If you allow it to happen then it is your
fault you are the victim. Stand up and
be bold, be your own best advocate. Just
say no.
Sometimes
life brings us lessons when we least expect them. I realize that seeing the lessons through the
eyes of strangers that I could see the value in who I am. I was reminded repeatedly that my smile and
gentle kindness could touch any heart. Not
every task is going to be a success but the failure is only in the failing to
try. Relationships are the joy of life
and that in failing to risk our hearts we cheat ourselves. Yes, it took a garage sale for me to see what
was right in front of me, both good and bad but I honestly think that in truth
it is because we get so busy we forget to look. If you are roaring through life making money
and looking good, perhaps it is time for you take a moment to reflect on the
journey. The treasure is not in the
bargain you take home but in the value of the heart you put into the thought. No matter how much money you make, what kind
of clothes you have, or where you live, you are worthy of the greatness in
life. Do not be tempted to settle for
less because in making the bargain you cheat yourself. Life will bring you
challenges, throw up roadblocks, and even bless you with mean people but just
keep going because this too shall pass and it is the journey that truly
matters. Someone will find the value in
the treasures you leave behind. Look to the future with hope and do not be
afraid to stop occasionally and clear out the closets of your past clutter.
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